Meet the new guy (He Who Must Not Be Named ... so that's what he was pointing at)

"I'm back," he said.

"I want undivided attention."

"If you do not know the meaning of undivided attention..."

I'm thinking of a name for you on my blog. What would you like?

"I  don't know ... you give it to me lah."

"Is that the concept of your blog? Do you use everyone's real name on it?" Yes.

He's pointing his finger at me now. Oh, apparently it's my turn to speak.

This is the awesomest and weirdest entry I've made so far. Usually, people get annoyed when I type out everything that they say. But this guy ...(*) He Who Must Not Be Named ... yet (he actually gave a thumbs up for that) and now he's just staring at the screen.

I don't know what to do. This has never happened before.

"Please finish your thought. You have not finished this part," he said ... pointing at (*)

"I want you to take out 'lah' because I don't want people to know I'm a Malaysian."

"If you take my words verbatim, they would know that it's me. No one here can talk the way that I do."

"Please excuse me, I  need to go and change (something) personality before I can come back here."

That was fast. He's back.

And he's leaning against my chair.

"I said 'Change my personality ... not change my underwear!'" said He Who Must Not Be Named.

Oh my god... he is actually dictating what I should type. And is pointing at some words ... he doesn't know how this works.

Please read my blog.

"I'm trying to make you a more awesome blog writer," he said with his arms crossed.

He also said: "He is also cursing under his breath."

Dude, this is not how this blog works. You have to read the previous entries.

"Don't make a rule and expect everyone to play along with it."

Oh, apparently I was wrong. He said "I said, 'Don't make YOUR rule and expect everyone to play along with it'."

I'm getting tired. This has to be the longest entry I've ever made.

One thing's for sure .... he ain't no pushover like Kenneth.

"Damn straight!" said He Who Must Not Be Named.

And he's still here ....

One of the sex offenders

I wanna have a post about the cute guy on Metro's cover today. I need your input.

"What Metro ... oh my god," said Jastin.

Don't you think he's good looking?

"Nope. Told you already ... he looks like one of the sex offenders on Law & Order: SVU."

You're just jealous.

"No I'm not. Do you want me to give the season and the episode?"

"Okay, I have to go for my last meeting with Metro. Are we going for tea later?"

Just another day at the office

So what are you going to blog about?

"There's a lot about Jastin ..." said Kenneth, who is finally reading my blog. OMG, I swear .. he is so lambat cerita.

Anyway, Jastin is on my right. He is eating two sweets at the same time. I told him that he's going to choke on them and

"Sharm, everybody does this okay. I do it all the time. There's nothing wrong with it," said Jastin ... stopping me from completing the previous sentence.

I was going to say that he's going to choke and nobody will be around to do the Heimlich manouver

How do you spell manouver?

"I'm not sure ... use the spellcheck, Sharm."

Where is the spellcheck?

"I'm not very sure."

Kenneth is on my left.

Do you have any questions for Kenneth?

Things you need to know about Kenneth.

Did you have your lunch? Haven't.

How many times did  you go to the toilet today? Once

What are you going to have for lunch? I don't think I'm going to have lunch today

OMG, Kenneth is looking at me as I'm typing this. And so is Jastin. Don't they know that they're not supposed to look at my screen as I type? Kenneth is still staring. And laughing. And still staring ...

"Okay, okay, okay ... hey ... fine, I've got work to do okay," said Kenneth as he moved away and is now writing something on a piece of paper.

"I think I have to go as well. I have to go for the meeting....my last meeting at the Metro... I think," said Jastin.

Okay, but he's still here. Not moving. He's looking at the screen.

I think I'm going to edit it.

Don't have to edit it. Then it won't be the Sudden Blog right, Sharm?

They are so lame ...

"I'm just going to leave it open here," said Kenneth.

"I know you feel used."

"Don't forget about the belt thing," said Angelin.

"She's blogging now actually," said Kenneth.

Goodbye Kenneth

I walked into the office today and realised that something felt different ... Kenneth was not where he was supposed to be. Instead, he was sitting a few rows away ... somewhere far where I'm unable to bully ... I mean, interact with him.

How is this possible? How am I going to get through the day without making Kenneth feel bad about himself at least once? Who am I going to terrorise and make fun of now?

"Kenneth."

"Yeah ... yes?"

"Why are you not sitting next to me anymore?"

"Because I'm not doing the TV page anymore."

"Are you going to miss me?"

"Of course ... I'm missing you already."

"What would you miss the most about sitting next to me?"

"It's got to be borrowing your charger."

Okay, to tell the truth ... that iPhone charger belongs to Kenneth. But I've been using it so much that I make him ask for my permission before he gets to use his own frigging charger. And he does ... ask for my permission to use it ... and not only that, I've been letting Daryl borrow that charger as well. Even Daryl thinks it's mine.

"So how are we going to settle this charger problem?"

Kenneth just stood up. He's here (on my left) for a while, to use the computer to send someone a message. He walked off ... not because he's unable to answer the simple question but because someone called him.

I'm all alone now. No human interaction.